What makes you empathetic

So we are rare gems! Yes , surprise, surprise…. I too am in the process of leaving my narcissist husband who had a terribly abusive childhood.

But how come it took me so long to figure it out? Now all his lies are crashing in on me … its like glass breaking. With the empaths that post here? I would love to be able to share my ideas with others. Here other empaths storys? Other than myself. Absolutely agree, trying to use it as a super power,I feel could be dangerous. We must remember we are posting our comments to empath strangers. Please realize some of us can feel others emotions just by reading the words they chose to use to express that experience and describe how they feel.

My life is a mess right now because being an empath person all six kinds of empath person, I feel everything. My sister has cancer, surgery tomorrow. We are very close, I feel her pain. I will stop there. Oh trust me there is more. I thought I was clinically depressed. Everything is off track. I long to have mental peace and relaxation in my brain. Linda, you just stunned me with your description of me! I am never happy because I see and feel so much sadness and nothing I can do about it.

I do wish there was a support group for us. This is so crazy. I have never heard of an empath until reading this article and it described me perfectly. On top of that I too am with a narcissist.

They get a sick enjoyment out of hurting you. She just has to be in control. Try and imagine having peace of mind day after day.

I value my quiet time to regroup especially taking walks outside in nature never wondering why. I can sense a shift in the atmosphere that would make my mood change and thought it was me! I too have been involved with narc relationships and have a parent that is controlling and manipulative and lies. I have found a strong spiritual counsellor that has helped me understand my past which will catapult me to a better future.

I think the best thing is understanding who we are so we can protect ourselves and use our gifts. Understanding who I am has definitely made a lot of my pass understandable now.

Wow do I know you? Cause it sure sounds like you know me. Still trying to bow out gracefully but keep taking her back. Love sucks for creating that inner conflict in me. Anyway thank you for your comment. For so long I thought I was crazy, thinking other peoples thoughts, recognizing im feeling their feelings and not mind.

Whenever I see my friends in hurt, I cant do anything or say anything besides to help them and guide them through it. I need to practice not trying to help. I was like a therapist. It brought a lot of joy in my life knowing im helping, but a lot of pain as well. This provides so many answers. I felt so alone and lost due to this. I think the narcs are attracted to the people who care about other people. I keep trying to fix her problems and now our grown up children that share her traits.

To tired to old to move on and save myself. I do understand and hope others read our stories and not fall victim. I know exactly what how awful it can feel when your adult children exhibits the same traits as the Narcc parent , my ex husband.. God I feel the same way. I have been in a recent 18 year long horrible marriage. It hurts all too bad…. I aced them all and now reading this article. I see shadows behind people lying to me and yes like 1 other reply I have animals sit at my feet..

I can totally relate to your feelings as such is mine current emotions now. I can use a friend now that understands how I feel cos those I have around do not understand. I lived with the pain,limited vision and only able to crawl when I finally allowed my mom to call an ambulance 6 days after my traumatic headache which occurred at am almost a week earlier.

I was just visiting them in Ventura county and I live in LA. If you can find anyone like us or a group ha please let me know i am so tired of people using me and lying when i know they are. Cant trust anyone. I need to find people like me.

Please help i need all the info i can get. Although PsychAlive is not a psychotherapy or mental health assistance website, we encourage anyone who is struggling to speak with a trained professional. YES ME!! I feel everything you are feeling too I am homeless with a mental hanicap for a year now. I hear you when you say others do not understand..

I have no friends like me…just negative energies fighting against me. I feel you. It is life controlling. Sometimes outside looking in, it looks so appetizing. I crave to not feel sometimes, and the universe just keeps sending me people who need help. I have thought the same thing after helping people repeatly.

It was a sad day. It is so sad but not just for you, but for them as well. Knowing what lengths you are willing to go for even shallow friends, just think what you would do for a truly real friend..

I think i can easily say that I would, without much thought if any, willingly lay down my life for a true friend if it were needed. In emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects! I hurt to the point of not being able to function, but not for myself, but for others. It just does what it does.

I guess the only positive, is, I can adapt to who is in front of me. I can feel their energy, and I can conform, in order to try and communicate better. I have been badly traumatized because of this …. I can feel the atmosphere changing in the room, usually to a negative. I immediately start praying to Jesus!!! I keep attracting narcissistic people who take take take …. I feel the same way. I have been a loner all my life. Now I know I am not crazy for not wanting to be a round a large crowd.

I can feel how another person is feeling when I am around them. It is very draining. I cry almost every day because I feel soo boxed in. The only hope I ever had was for someone to finally catch me in my lie. Ditto for me on choosing inappropriate narcissists as partners, thank u 4 putting into words as it gels for me when I see the words rather than just thinking about it.

Just recently put my experiences into action, finally, by just saying no. What a feeling! Gina and John.. There are obviously so many of us here.. I have found myself giving more to the jarsacists trying to find acceptance.. I always walk away drained talking to myself asking why I keep putting myself through that pain when I already know the outcome…fear…of being alone…as I sit here now feeling lonely and wishing there was just 1 person I could call or go and see who is like me and so many of you other wonderful empaths.

Every time I go somewhere, I have to recuperate for two days. Anxiety drains me. I definitely sense how others feel towards me. I dwell on the one negative vibe instead of the 10 positive vibes. I worry constantly about something may go wrong. I over think and over pack, just for a four hour adventure. I had to drink protein shakes for nutrition. I predict all the tv shows what is going to happen and it does.

Much more…. Be careful what you wish for…. This was one life lesson I would never ever forget. I got wish but with strings attached and I had no control. Within a number of hours after renouncing my gift, it was gone. I was scared, trying to understand what just happened. Was this a punishment? I later came to believe that it was a punishment. I went to see a friend who instantly recognized something was severely wrong with me.

I told him but he had no answers for me. This hell went on for 6 weeks and stress kept building up. I ended up in Hospital with a severe case of shingles, several times worse than what an average person endures. I meditated in Hospital and examined my thoughts and actions up until that day. I can only be the person I really am.

I was reminded to embrace everything that makes me unique. Everything has some good and bad and the Cosmos works better when we work toward finding balance. I accepted everything as an Empath and not everyone can experience a wonderful gift like this. Minutes later a Dr walked into my room and I thought I might pee myself. I could feel him and it was all I could do not to jump up and start dancing. The Dr was discussing my home care and other topics related to my having shingles.

I knew I had my gift back because I just realized my Dr was bullshitting me a little bit During our talk trying to influence my behaviours and decisions. Boy I missed that. People are drawn to us because we are healers and they feel safe with us, but try not to let them unload issues to much as we can become emotionally exhausted from their sad feelings. I kinda always new I was a empath, but the first time I heard about empaths. It was always linked to magic or psychic and that was the only info I could get.

I do have a question. Is there any other social empaths like me? I try to do fun activities, which usually brings positive energy. Sometimes I have to dill with negative energy to.

Like; fear, self doubt and anxiety. The biggest thing I want to change is to not fall in love so easily and stay in love for so long. So I always get rejected. It sucks knowing the woman I love, love me to before anything happens.

I always put my self in the friend zone or I move to fast and scar them away. Kyle I do the same.. I used to be that social butterfly until my empath abilities kicked in full speed ahead now I get severe anxiety thinking about having to be around groups of people….

I am 21 years old and have always, for as long as I can remember, been afraid to speak about the overwhelming energy and presence I experience on a day-to-day basis.

He takes away all the bad for me and I know it sounds crazy, but it works. To add to this, try to ask yourself what kind of potential these abilities could give you if you looked at your life in a different light… try asking, if you are open to praying, why God gave you this gift.

I am curious to see what He answers. Reading this has made me realize that I was Single and a caregiver to my mother for the last 10 years. My Mother recently passed away and all the sudden he wanted me to come around and if there was anything he could do for me let him know. I run a low income housing unit of 32 that was moms business!!! People are homeless and hungry! We take them in! Get them to the places they need! I do feel like an empath s all these feelings relate.

Ending that relationship was a it difficult but I keep writing down everything that happens daily and I am trying to treat myself as well as I work with the homeless. Mindful breathing, and recognizing this is gonna be my work! Thank you. I think I now realize that my narcissistic gf was sent to me to show me I was an empath. I long for a way to bring her to Jesus. Does God have anything to do with these connections.

It feels in some way my duty. My health is damaged from the one way love you will get back. The other partener my wife has suffered nothing and has not changed one bit jesus is as much a stranger to her now as he was 40 yrs ago.

I am not a religious person but am spiritual. I must say, for 21 years of age, you seem to have a better grip on this subject and more confidence than most others who are two to three times your age. Keep up whatever you are doing and you will be unstoppable in whatever you choose!

It works beautifully but I forget I pay and feel everything around me like a battering ram… I include the lords prayer with my spiritual protection as the Devine is still the biggest part of the spiritual realm. It makes so much sinse. Perfect sinse thank you so much!

I agree that being a empath is very exhausting and an emotional rollercoaster. But, I understand why after I have been around large crowds or in church services I just want to hide from people and just be alone because, I need to recharge myself.

I experience the same things in every word you just typed. How do you cope? Help me please? The process of acceptance of this condition takes time and willingness to look at the truth. Sadly this will save you time and energy before it potentially destroys you. Have some alone time to gather your thoughts.

Try to figure out where the negative emotions are coming from. If you can try to help them. If you have fun loving friend. After work take a hour of alone time and then see if they want to hang out or watch a comedy to get you laughing. I hope I help you. Always remember you are a wonderful person. I can fully relate to you. I found that when I was not grounded, was not emotionally well. I was also married to a narcissist, and while I was with him, I was more susceptible to the pain of other people.

Now that I have left that relationship, my boundaries are in place, and I do not absorb the energies good and bad from others as easily as I did before. My advice: look closely at the relationships you have in your life. If someone drains you of energy, limit the time you have with them, and remind yourself that this is their burden, not yours. It will be tough, but with practice, it becomes much easier. I feel the same things.

I can look at people and sense the evil or good in people. I answered yes to all the questions stated above. Im constantly praying to separate my emotions from others. Thank you for telling how it is for you all.

Sooo reassuring to me. I think you have helped me understand myself. I feel so so much love and feel very protective of my first little grandson. I felt a wrench when he went to spend time with another grandparent aged 6 months. It was a different set up to how I raised my children. I felt I had to to empower my daughter by stepping back and letting her judge the situation and deal with it her way. The reason this discovery matters is because it shows that people are able to identify with people and groups that are actually outside of themselves.

To put this into a non-fantasy application, it shows that people can relate to people who live lives that are entirely different than their own. For example, people from the United States could read a book about a person in China and learn to identify with someone on the other side of the planet. Listening to others is a very good way of developing empathy. When we take the time to listen to the things that other people are telling us it is an easy way of understanding how they think and feel.

Listening is best achieved when we set aside our own thoughts and opinions and carefully think about what another person is saying. We can also do a better job of listening when we set aside distractions like cell phones or tablets. When we give our undivided attention to others we will make them feel like they are cared for and it gives us an opportunity to truly understand their point of view. For many, it is much easier to identify with people who are in our "in-group.

This type of thinking can be inhibiting in a diverse workplace, or it may suppress compassionate empathy for those outside of our own communities. To challenge this type of thinking, it's important to take the time to understand people who are different. To expand empathy, a person might have to challenge pre-conceived notions and biases and consider another person's point of view.

This can also be achieved be people widening their circle and becoming friends with people they might not ordinarily spend time with. They may be surprised to find that they have more in common than they first believed, and it is even more likely that they will broaden their ability for empathy.

Unfortunately, even those with advanced degrees in communications are often guilty of saying "I'm sorry" repeatedly in their personal and professional interactions. Examples abound: apologizing profusely when it takes a few hours to answer a text or email; offering up a hasty mea culpa when you accidentally bump someone in…. Communications, at its essence, is the study of human interaction and expression. Students pursuing a…. Free speech may be something that we take for granted in the United States, but….

Are you a good communicator? Clear speaker? Is your grasp of the English language better…. Stress is something that happens to almost every person from time to time. It is…. A master's degree in communication opens the door to a variety of career possibilities across….

Communication — it makes the world go round, right? Clear communication is important in almost…. To truly support someone, you must first understand that person. Empathetic people take the time to understand their counterpart's priorities, preferences, and motivations. This requires listening non-judgmentally and leaving your assumptions at the door.

Empathetic people use active listening skills to gain insight, including:. Affirming: Smiling, nodding, or brief verbal affirmations like "I see" and "mm hmm".

Communication runs deeper than words alone. If you notice someone tensing up, pulling away, or suddenly dodging eye contact, those are important clues that you can use empathy to reach out. Rather than ignoring the emotion gently -- and with kindness -- ask them to describe what's happening for them. This gives people the freedom to share their feelings openly, knowing they won't be judged or criticized.

Letting emotions flow freely can be a gateway to productive problem-solving. In an effort to be helpful, we often jump in to finish people's sentences, offer advice, or interrupt.

Empathetic people know how powerful silence can be. This tendency stems from the need to believe that the world is a fair and just place. People want to believe that people get what they deserve and deserve what they get—it fools them into thinking that such terrible things could never happen to them.

The term empathy was first introduced in by psychologist Edward B. Several different theories have been proposed to explain empathy. Studies have shown that specific areas of the brain play a role in how empathy is experienced. More recent approaches focus on the cognitive and neurological processes that lie behind empathy. Researchers have found that different regions of the brain play an important role in empathy, including the anterior cingulate cortex and the anterior insula.

Research suggests that there are important neurobiological components to the experience of empathy. Functional MRI research also indicates that an area of the brain known as the inferior frontal gyrus IFG plays a critical role in the experience of empathy. Some of the earliest explorations into the topic of empathy centered on feeling what others feel allows people to have a variety of emotional experiences.

The philosopher Adam Smith suggested that sympathy allows us to experience things that we might never otherwise be able to fully feel. This can involve feeling empathy for both real people and imaginary characters.

Experiencing empathy for fictional characters, for example, allows people to have a range of emotional experiences that might otherwise be impossible. Sociologist Herbert Spencer proposed that sympathy served an adaptive function and aided in the survival of the species. Empathy leads to helping behavior, which benefits social relationships. Humans are naturally social creatures. Things that aid in our relationships with other people benefit us as well.

When people experience empathy, they are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors that benefit other people. Things such as altruism and heroism are also connected to feeling empathy for others. Fortunately, empathy is a skill that you can learn and strengthen. If you would like to build your empathy skills, there are a few things that you can do:.

While empathy might fail sometimes, most people are able to empathize with others in a variety of situations. This ability to see things from another person's perspective and sympathize with another's emotions plays an important role in our social lives. Empathy allows us to understand others and, quite often, compels us to take action to relieve another person's suffering. Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter. Reblin M, Uchino BN.